My Cosplay Story

The Real Problem with Sexy Cosplay

by Ardelle Cosplay

I recently saw a video by Ardelle Cosplay on the issue of societal views on cosplay, and how one can help change the paradigm of cosplay as viewed by non-cosplayers. She also discouraged resentment and the bringing-down of other cosplayers.

That got me thinking about my own experience thus far as a cosplayer.





In Vancouver, the cosplay community is very strong, but also very conflicted. There are those that have cosplayed for years, and those who have just started. There are those who make their own cosplays, buy their cosplays off Taobao, or do a combination of both (buy the costume, but make and style the props and wigs on their own). There are also those that do original designs and pre-existing designs. Some have the courage the reveal skin and undergo a positive change in lifestyle (working out, eating right) to accommodate it, while others choose to wear costumes that cover up a bit more because they feel more emotionally comfortable this way.

 To me, they are all beautiful cosplayers, so long as they don't put others down for thinking/cosplaying differently. But, unfortunately, not everyone here thinks like I do.

 There are biases for certain appearances, certain level of craftsmanship, certain cosplays. These biases form a niche stigma that puts pressures on prospective newcomers on whether it's a good idea to join the community or not.

 When I first started out cosplaying in 2008, I was an awkward 8th grader who had made my cosplay for the very first time: Princess Snow from Marchen Awakens Romance. I had no wig, no makeup, no contacts. My shorts were poorly made, and one hole was larger than the other. (To this day, I still haven't properly learned how to make pants, since most of my cosplays are closet coses or dresses/skirts.)

 But, I was still accepted as a cosplayer. I was allowed to participate in a cosplay fashion show, where photographers still took photos of me. They weren't a lot, and a lot of photogs didn't have Facebook pages at the time, so I couldn't find them, but photos were still taken.

My first cosplay. Scrapbook entries comparing AE 2008 and AE: Akimatsuri 2013.

My latest fashion show entry. Yayoi Kunizuka from PSYCHO-PASS.

Anime Revolution 2013 ISNM Fashion Show
Complete with makeup, proper pants, and even went as far as cutting my hair to have straight bangs.

(My mom got pretty mad at that...;;; )
Photo cred: Dayan Chai

My PSYCHO-PASS group.
Anime Revolution 2013 ISNM Fashion Show
From left to right:
Me as Yayoi Kunizuka
Tori Sorano as Akane Tsunemori
Ishido as Shinya Kougami
Onigiri Wigglebottom as Shuusei Kagari
Photo cred: Dayan Chai

Looking back at things now, I still feel like that that was my most impressive cosplay. I put the most effort into it. I put the most thought into it. I probably spent the most money on it, too, but never realized it since my dad bought the materials for me. OTL

I'm not hating the cosplay community anymore because of this sudden caste system. Having been on YouTube for a good 3 years, and having met both the veterans as well as the newbies in the process, I knew that it was inevitable.

Since I got back into cosplaying after a year-long hiatus (because of YouTube), I found the world had changed vastly.

Private photoshoots were no longer limited to the prolific, and were now used as a way of building one's own portfolio. Anime conventions and cosplay fashion shows suddenly became no different from an exhibition at the Vancouver Art Museum.

And in this new version of the world that I had loved so much, I was basically told that I'm "not good enough".

At first, I was hurt. I was shocked. It had changed so much. The community had gone from a gathering of like-minded individuals to a popularity contest... the very popularity contest that I had tried to escape with cosplay from my school.

As a 21-year-old... I accept it now. I take it as a challenge for my own skills. Unlike most cosplayers, I focus more on my modelling and posing skills than the actual costume I wear, so I ended up surprising a couple of cosplay photogs when I initially met them. To those that gave me a chance - like The Will Box, KC Photography, and Alkun Photography - I owe them a lot!

Photo cred: The Will Box

Within the span of a year, I came to recognize the fact that my skills - nor my future success as an artist of any medium, for that matter - did not lie in cosplay. I lack the time and resources to be able to do cosplays as intensely as my cosplay friends, and I'm also not as motivated at them.

I am, however, intensely motivated by music... I just happen to love cosplaying.

So, over time, I grew to combine the two.

Final Round of Anime Evolution: Akimatsuri 2012 Idol. My friend, Rulaxie, out-shined me, and rightly so~
photo cred: Elvin Lai

Live show with my now-defunct band, Ryouko, at Anime Evolution 2013.
That's me in the pink hair.
photo cred: Tanya Ren

Solo show with K-Fever Karaoke, Klip Magazine and MiniComi Vancouver.
Technical difficulties included an unforgiving mic stand. Thank you, Kagami~ <3
photo cred: Kurohi Photography

Round 1 of Anime Revolution Idol 2013. I would go on to win first place.
photo cred: Masamune Photography

First one-man acoustic live, shortly after Ryouko's disbanding.
"Kagerou Project: Unplugged" at Anime Evolution: Akimatsuri 2013
photo cred: Alkun Photography

Don't know if you notice it or not, but it seems like my musical abilities and cosplay skills improved steadily over time... at about the same rate.;;; (The cosplay I wore for AR Idol Finals is shown in the video linked in the caption)

Now, as with all essays(long posts)... "so what?"

In conclusion, I guess I really mean... Why should we care?

Why should a caste system be implemented into something that was meant to be for fun? Why do people like to choose? Why do people like to point out to someone "You're so much better than ___." or "___ is so much better than you."? This happened on YouTube almost as much as cosplay. Almost. (YouTube still wins for containing the most assholes on the internet.)

Why do people care so much about someone else's business?

Boredom? Maybe. Because they're jerks? Less likely, but sure.

Whatever the answer is, I personally don't find the action itself useful.

Well... unless you're motivated to prove everyone wrong. In which case, sure, but it's still not the best way to go at it...

PSYCHO-PASS take 2! This time, with hair extensions and fixed.... everything.
From left to right:
Rorin L. as Shinya Kougami
Me as Yayoi Kunizuka
Kagami Rei as Nobuchika Ginoza
Tori Sorano as Akane Tsunemori
photo cred: KC Photography

Naturally, I considered leaving the community altogether several times. I have a friend who did, even though he did a lot of cosplaying with his girlfriend. And he's a pretty darn good cosplayer with a good heart and a witty mind. But, even the dark comedian found the drama exhausting, apparently.

So, why have I, an overly-sensitive tsundere with the shortest temper and patience you have ever met, decided to stay in the world of cosplay?

Well, ultimately....

photo creds:
Cynthia Lung, Charles Yu, Photosassin, KC Photography, Tori Sorano, ACParadise, The Will Box, Rorin L., Onigiri Wigglebottom, Norm Lee Photography, Ruffy Chiin, akinari-kun(SUTORAIKUAnime), Maria Nishiyama, 

...It was the connections I made that made me want to stay.

*ageha/AELITA